To Be Forsaken
by valkyrja21
Summary: Ever since the Uchiha tragedy, Sasuke had been without friendship or compassion. But when the one person who knows his pain offers him what he had learned to live without, will he accept or choose to remain alone? Oneshot, Shounen ai, NaruSasu


Title: Forsaken Desires  
Genre: Drama/Romance  
Rating: T—for language mostly  
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did…well, let's just say the poor fandom would be in utter chaos. Yeah, that's right, you know what I mean and you like it.

Summary: Ever since the great Uchiha tragedy, Sasuke had been without friendship or compassion. But when the one person who knows his pain offers him what he had learned to live without, will he accept to choose to remain what he is—alone. Oneshot, Shounen-ai, NaruSasu  
  
A/N: Naruto's point of view.

3-23-07 EDIT: The wording had been bothering me forever. I finally decided to change a few things - make it a bit less choppy.

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Alone.

There used to be a time when he was innocent. A time when evil, malice, and wrongdoing had yet to corrupt him. He was young, carefree, and pure—like the cool waters of a babbling brook, coating the forest floor with a path of liquid crystal, playfully leading those who follow to a place even it has yet to see. But like all brooks and like all streams, they must come to an end, some plunging into the icy darkness of an even deeper pool of unnatural stillness.

There used to be a time when he was happy. A time when he could smile, a time when he could laugh, a time when he could love and be loved, but time had stopped ever since his friend…his brother…his hero…betrayed him and left him alone.

"My foolish brother…if you want to kill me…curse me! Hate me! Run away…run away…and cling to your pitiful life."

And he did. He hated. He ran. He lived. All alone.

Alone. A simple word with a simple definition: Uchiha Sasuke.

The playground—a mini amusement park for children to laugh and play with family and friends, wanting nothing more than exactly what they had…and then there was me, lacking the former and desiring the latter. I guess some things were not meant to be—no one ever seemed to notice me. Not how I wanted them to. They saw me as a plague—a bearer of a contagious ailment that, should they come to close, would kill them instantly. They always kept their distance, or left when I came near, until none remained but me. Such was the routine I had come to expect.

But something changed the daily cycle, something I did not intend. Walking home I saw a boy sitting upon the edge of the pier—a boy whose messy dark locks challenged the midnight sky, a boy whose charcoal eyes were as empty as the home he lived in, a boy whose pain and sorrow ran as deep as the waters that caressed his feet—Uchiha Sasuke. He stared into the depths of the sea, allowing the mellow waves to brush up against his ankles and gradually retreat, beckoning him forth. Waves that while lost in thought would one day pull him under.

Wind swept past us carrying a heavy scent of salt—whether from the ocean or from tears, I really could not say. The gentle breeze ruffled his hair and it fluttered into his face, stroking his pale skin. Carefully he tucked it back and only then did I see that he was staring back at me.

I think I pulled a face—a grimace or a frown, I must have from the way he glared at me. What could I say? What excuse did I have for watching him? I panicked. Quickly I turned away, in a rather stuck up fashion, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw he did the same. I could not help but empathize…was his life a sad story too? Did he suffer as I had? What secrets did those intense onyx eyes bottle and hide away?

He was alone and I wondered why.

At the academy, he was always on top. Of all the students—he was the strongest, of all the boys—he was the smartest, and in the opinion of all the girls—he was the bravest, the cutest, the coolest, the best. The best…that's what he wanted everyone to believe. Everyone did, except me. I knew it was a mask. I had seen his pain. What was wrong? I was unsure, but I knew one thing to be true—he was alone.

He was alone and so was I.

The journey to the land of waves—the first real mission and I wasn't ready for it, but he was. He always was. I knew if I wanted to fulfill my dream I would have to defeat him, and somehow I knew he thought the same. Competition began and I strove to prove to him I was his equal—though we were different, we were also alike…but he was better. I hated him for it. I would not admit it then and he will never here me say it now, but I was jealous. We were rivals, he and I… as well as friends. The four of us—we were a team… but not together. He was distant, always by our side but never within our reach.

He was with us but he was alone. It was all I had ever known him to be.

Though it had long past begun its descent, the sweltering sun beat down upon the training grounds with all of its wrath, making it nearly impossible to concentrate. I knew it was becoming too much when the waves of heat rising from the ground, blurring the image of the land behind it, began to distract me from my battle. I looked up and saw that he was fairly composed, omitting the beads of sweat developing on his forehead and his slightly erratic breaths. Exhaustion was beginning to consume us both, but he would not stop and neither would I.

"You should take a break," Sasuke spoke offhandedly with a hint of provocation, "I wouldn't want you to pass out."

_Kuso_. Too late. I had reached my limit. My vision began to haze and my whole body felt heavy, as if the gravity had just increased tenfold. My legs could no longer support my weight and I collapsed onto my hands and knees. I had begun to pant loudly, struggling to remain conscious. I would not let Sasuke see me faint. Not a chance. I forced my disinclined head lift and face eyes of deep ebony. He crouched down in front of me, holding out his water canteen, looking rather smug with his I-told-you-so smirk.

Somewhat reluctantly I accepted the flask, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of knowing he won. Uncorking it, I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, draining its contents in an instant, causing the cool water to vigorously glaze my dry throat. Wiping my mouth on the back of my sleeve, I reopened my eyes and saw Sasuke staring at me with a look of amusement.

"Oi! What's so funny?"

"You," he replied simply, as if the answer was obvious.

"Eh? What are you talking about?"

"You are so predictable," he answered, standing up and walking away. A few moments later he looked back at me. "Are you coming or what?"

The sun had reached the dead center between the zenith and the horizon, bathing the Uchiha with pale gold and creating a stunning effect. The light cast a warm glow over his body, making his skin look radiant and flawless. He seemed so chaste and content. The Sasuke I never knew. As soon as the youthful aura had appeared it was gone. A single cloud drifted in front of the sun, casting everything in its wake into shadow. Though the day was blazing hot, he appeared to be bitter cold. Once again he was the boy I had grown up with—emotionless, desolate, insipid, ghostly—like a mist on the verge of dispersing into nothingness.

Sasuke, I won't let you fade away. I ran to catch up with him, for he had already begun to leave. The minute I was close enough I took a chance. I reached out, seized his arm, pulled him toward me, and forced my lips on his. I'm not sure what possessed me to take this course of action, but I was desperate to make him stay…to make him warm…to make him feel.

After a second of shock, he placed both hands on my shoulders and firmly shoved me back. "Naruto, get away from me! What the fuck is wrong with you?" he shouted, staring at me like I was some repulsive insect.

"Sasuke…please, don't look at me like that," I pleaded, the way he regarded me…it was unbearable.

"Like what? You—"

"Like everyone else does!" I screamed, unable to contain my agony. "When people look at me, they see a horrible beast…when people look at me, they see Kyuubi! Everyone I have ever met glowered at me with utmost hatred, like I was a worthless being…everyone but you. When you looked at me, you saw a competitor…your equivalent. We were the same then, you and I—we were both alone…we still are. I don't want to be alone anymore."

His face mellowed, whether from sympathy, comprehension or incredulousness, I was not sure. I took a deep breath and ventured a step nearer to him. "Sasuke…" I spoke with false firmness, "All I want is for you to be happy and…I…" Every word I spoke asphyxiated me. "I will go without question if you ask me to…but Sasuke…is that really what you want?"

He only stared at me in reply. However, it was no longer his angered glare, but a gaze filled with disorientation and doubt. It was the first time I had ever seen any real emotions in his eyes. In truth, I don't think he knew what he wanted…and I was afraid. Afraid he might say yes…afraid he might say no…afraid he might not say anything at all. It was then that I realized I did not want to hear his answer.

Cautiously, I raised my hand to his cheek and captured his lips in my own once more, but this time, he did not resist. In response, he grasped two handfuls of the material of my coat and pulled me close. His tongue stroked the part in my lips, begging for further entrance…and I allowed him to take control. I felt his hands creep under my jacket and shirt, roaming up and trailing down my back in rhythmic movements, massaging my warm skin soothingly. I lifted my free hand to the back of his neck and tangled my fingers in his soft, raven hair. I moaned quietly against him as he imposed more contact and his tongue danced and curled upon and underneath mine.

Slowly I pulled away from his mouth, allowing the both of us the air we so desperately needed. I forced us even closer, bringing a great degree of pleasurable friction between our chests, navels, and hips. He gasped. I leaned forward, giving a passionate, reassuring kiss at the corner of his jaw, just below his ear.

"Naruto…" he whispered.

"Sasuke…are you okay?"

"Aa. Don't stop."

I didn't. I kissed along his jaw-line, my tongue tracing its edge. He tipped his head back, exposing his neck to my hungry lips. I began to fascinate myself with his throat, gently sucking at his skin and gradually making my way down to the base of his neck. I could feel the vibrations of every ragged breath he took in and expelled, and I could not help but smile—he didn't merely want this, he needed it and so did I.

My lips followed his collarbone to his shoulder and back up his neck again, memorizing every detail. Sasuke buried his face in my spiky blonde hair, nuzzling his nose against my head and I could briefly detect the affectionate kiss he placed there before he pulled back.

"Naruto?" he spoke softly.

"Nani?" I replied, still focused on his smooth skin.

"…Arigatou."

Confused, I lifted my head and met his eyes. "For what?"

"Not leaving me."

I smiled warmly and pulled him into a tight embrace. "I swear to you Sasuke…as long as I am here, you will never be alone."

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Thanks for reading! 3 


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